雪花协奏曲

Imaginary Exhibition

Spring concert.

Spotlight, formal skirts, Ms.Hopping’s angle-like encouraging face, and the fact that she put me as the 1st soloist who plays.

It’s spring concert.

I remember the breathe I took after I finish my performance. 

Freedom. 

This freedom is not the relief and pressure-free one would feel after the important task. As it has been a long time since I last shivered about a particular challenging task. 

That’s the freedom I’ve been dreaming about, for years.

Freedom from constrains, freedom on time, freedom to speculate and daydream.

The last assessment based concert of my high school is over. 

———————————

I was recently asked by Miranda, as to what would I ‘draw about’ (as she says ) if I was to start my own visual art exhibition.

Actually I am happy to contemplate about it question.

I am happy to plan and start my visual art exhibition because, as a music student, I’ve never had a single chance before to ‘exhibit’ pieces of my work together. I believe pieces of whimsical and fantasies and fragments of messages from different perspective to one theme, will talk in a stronger voice when they come together to present my ideas.

I am happy to plan and start my visual art exhibition because, as a music student, I never had a medium in which I could polish my work bit by bit and stroke by stroke. It’s the only thing we can do to invest ourselves in hours of practice of every day of every month of every year- yet all of them could be ruined by even the smallest shift of emotion when you are perform live. This process has made it so hard for perfectionist to prepare their performance and to accept their performance, especially when you are at a pre-professional level. Torturous for perfectionist! 

I am happy to plan and start my visual art exhibition because it’s something I could totally manipulate ideas and philosophies of my own- from the scratch, I mean, music is somewhat rendition and interpretation, blended with existent composition and pre-established style of music. I tangibly feel the pain when my physical limitation prevents me from melting myself with those already-existing styles. Yeh, if you know me in real life, you must have heard me whined about the gap between my hand size and Romantic music/ Rachmaninoff pieces, those that might have kept me playing. While, in visual art, I guess you are very agile in your area of creation, and technically free from some physical limitation, free from the ‘athletic aspect’ of music performance. 

I am happy to plan and start my visual art exhibition because, I could take advantage of this medium and this freedom to make my artistic expression more tangible, more exact, more personal and original-  the kind of things that represent your ideologies and understanding of the world, the kind of things I enjoy presenting. That’s a factor of the passion I feel when I do creative writing- I feel empower by making every single choice about this Art out of my own will, to reflect, to record, to observe, and to speculate about.

With everything above being said, I love music, and probably it’s the form of art that I am most familiar with, after more than 14 years of acquaintance.  My heard melts into honey when I hear some of the Romantic piano pieces, and I’ve newly discovered a way to cheer myself up with Mozart piano sonata duet- Music functions as an instant mental communicator between me and a very delicate, intricate, and simply beautiful world. Whether what’s my college major, I will keep playing the piano and it will always be a part that defines and shapes myself. 

———————

For the same reasons, I am now hesitate about double major in music when I am about to step in the next stage of my education- college. 

———————————

So what are some possible themes that this imaginary visual art exhibition will dabble into? 

Time? Eternity? Critics to contemporary social culture? All possible. Probably I will try to do them bit by bit, by word. Yeh, sounds interesting. I will update this series. Stay in tuned. :)